


Darkness, Darkness

by Poochenthecreator (orphan_account)



Category: Hermitcraft, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blind Character, Blind!Mumbo, Blindness, Disabled Character, Hermitcraft - Freeform, Physical Disability, Why mst I keep writing, i've been working on this for ages
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2020-10-12 21:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20570855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Poochenthecreator
Summary: Darkness, Darkness, everywhere. Do you feel alone?The void is never a fun way to go. It changes you when you eventually respawn and Mumbo can now be a good example of that, for it took his eyes. Can he adjust to his new life?





	1. Chapter 1

Dying to the void was never fun. For starters, it was a slow and painful death that took anywhere from hours to days. Then, you took longer to respawn. Finally, you always came back different. You lost time or fond memories and, in rare cases, body parts. That’s why, when Mumbo woke up, he was not surprised to have lost memories of the past 2-3 weeks. He remembered Iskall reaching out to save him but that was all he could gather. They must have been end busting when he fell into the void.

Mumbo sat up and looked around, scrunching his face up in a confused frown. Despite feeling the bed under him and hearing the soft clucks of chickens, he still saw nothing but the void. The dark purple made him shudder and recall the agonizing feeling of dying to the void. _‘Maybe I’m in a dream?’ _He mused silently to himself, not noticing footsteps until he heard a chicken hatch from an egg being thrown nearby.

“Hello?” Mumbo heard soft chirping and quickening footsteps. ‘_Must be Grian pranking me again…’ _He stood up but had to steady himself on the bed so he wouldn’t fall due to lack of proper sensations. _‘What an odd dream… I must be stuck in respawn for a bit longer…’ _

“Grian? Are you there?” He felt his way out of the treehouse he had kept in honor of his first base and exited the dome it rested in, shuddering at the cool feeling of the glass. _‘Must be getting close to raining…’ _Mumbo got excited at the thought of flying around with his riptide trident and letting himself fall back down before his elytra caught him. That was always fun- he’d have to do that when he woke up.

More footsteps. “Grian! This isn’t funny!” Mumbo surely didn’t want this to become a nightmare if he was still stuck in respawn. Grian cackled somewhere nearby, making his friend groan. “Oh, goodness…”

“MUMBO! I HAVE FINALLY MANAGED TO FILL YOUR BASE WITH CHICKENS AGA-“ Grian stopped speaking midsentence, letting out an odd whine that had never been heard by the other before. “Uhm… M-mumbo?” His voice was oddly soft and held fear to it despite now nearby.

“Grian? What’s wrong?” Mumbo shuddered at the thought of his dream quickly turning into a nightmare. This wasn’t like Grian. He often faced danger headfirst and faced the consequences later.

“_Your eyes…_” Grian’s voice was barely audible and made Mumbo strain to hear it. His eyes? What about them? Mumbo reached a hand up to rub his eyes but jumped when he felt hollow sockets. Now he knew why Grian was acting so strange.

“…Grian?” Mumbo couldn’t stop his voice from shaking. “Grian, are my eyes gone?” He heard a small whine and he assumed that was a yes from Grian. “…The void…”

“It took your eyes, Mumbo!” Grian yelled out. “Oh my god! You’re blind!” Grian raced up to Mumbo, which scared him due to him not being able to see how far apart they were. Small arms wrapped around his chest and he realized Grian was hugging him in comfort, soft whimpers and chirps escaping his mouth.

Mumbo didn’t know exactly how to react. He was blind now- his sight taken while he fought shulkers and endermen. Iskall had looked so scared when Mumbo was knocked into the void- “Iskall! He was the last to see me!” Mumbo’s exclamation made Grian jump and squawk softly. Mumbo could picture him with his feathers puffed out and blue eyes narrow in shock while his face turned red from the fact that he squawked.

If it had been any other time, Mumbo would have been reduced to laughter at the sight. But, now it seemed like a mild reaction for the severity of the situation and the permanence of it. After all, anything lost to the void could never be retrieved, even with admins using commands. Mumbo was blind forever.

“Could you call Iskall for me, Grian?” Mumbo gently asked, patting his friend on the head. “He should know what happened since he tried to save me.” Grian let out a soft purr. Mumbo knew that he had always made that sound but it seemed so much more… impactful now that his sight was gone. Like the purr was some of Grian’s hope for Mumbo’s sight still lingering.

“I can!” Grian gently let Mumbo steady himself against a wall before allowing himself to back away and call Iskall, his communicator making soft beeps with each button press. Mumbo enjoyed the cool air as he picked up on the soft rings of Grian’s call, his mind trying not to focus on his blindness for now.

That didn’t help much, however. Something inside of Mumbo still wanted to believe that he was in a nightmare and he’d wake back up unharmed with nothing more than a phantom pain of the false memories of being eyeless. However, he was a logical man and knew far better than to cling to delusions of impossible scenarios.

Mumbo decided to turn his attention back to Grian and tried to picture what the other was doing as he talked in some effort to distract himself from the reality before him. “Hey, Iskall?” Grian started pacing, his footsteps echoing against the concrete floor. “Yeah, Mumbo’s back but uh…” Mumbo heard his feathers ruffle as he shifted his wings, soft clucks from nearby chickens distracting Mumbo from his friend slightly.

_‘Focus, Mumbo! You don’t need sight to see!’ _He pictured Grian gently kicking at the floor as the smallest hermit kept talking. “Listen. Come over. Just… be careful.” Mumbo could practically hear the rising tears in Grian’s voice; it broke his heart but he felt as if that he had to be the strong one. Iskall and Grian were going to be emotional and the server would treat him differently.

Someone had to be strong for everyone and Mumbo, logically, knew he had to take that role. He was fairly level headed and tried not to let emotions get the better of him, though he had a habit of bottling stuff up until it came to a boil and he had to take a mental health day, where he just let out every emotion he could.

Mumbo knew this wasn’t healthy but felt that he couldn’t do much else about it. He was the logic and reason of the Architech trio. He was the one who kept the other two from doing anything too stupid. He was the one who made sure Architech wasn’t a duo of unrestrained toddlers. So, he bottled up emotions.

Mumbo jumped when he heard rockets and Grian muttered something while taking off, leaving his friend alone and with almost no awareness of where he was. Mumbo couldn’t blame him or be angry. Grian was used to just taking off and Mumbo’s new state was new to even himself. He figured that, as soon as the winged hermit realized what he had done, he’d be back.

Mumbo got a chill from a coming wind and remembered that rain was on its way. He used his foot to gently feel where edges were and made his way back into his bedroom and to his bed, where he sat. His communicator pinged and he stopped himself from reaching for it. It would be of no use. He’d have to have Grian read it when he came back, or even Iskall when he arrived. So, Mumbo waited.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And yet there was no one who would do this for me, no way I could let out all this pain...___  
Mumbo feels helpless but pushes that down in his own pride...

Mumbo raised an eyebrow upon hearing Iskall entering with Xisuma not far behind. They both had very distinctive footsteps- Iskall always stepped heavily and quickly while Xisuma was light but faster than even Grian, who was a mess when it came to walking. He was fast, loud, and clumsy. Honestly, Mumbo wouldn’t expect anything less from the prankster. His footsteps always gave him away.

He lifted himself from the bed right as the others entered his bedroom, the door creaking shut behind them. “Mumbo. Iskall to- ohmygod.” Xisuma had clearly been dragged along by Iskall when Grian called him; Iskall must have been worried after Grian almost broke down during their call. Iskall noticed Mumbo’s empty eye sockets not long after Xisuma, screaming in shock.

Despite knowing some were going to act that way, Mumbo still felt hurt. Yes, he was different now and his lack of eyes would be a shock to anyone who didn’t know, but he could still hear and feel. He knew he was different but all he wanted was to be treated the same as before. After all, he wasn’t helpless- only disabled. But maybe the lack of eyes made him… well, ugly.

Iskall picked up on his hurt and sighed loudly, footsteps approaching Mumbo and placing a hand on his shoulder. Iskall spoke and the closeness of the direction of voice made Mumbo know that Iskall had been the one to walk up and place a hand on him. “Sorry, man. You… kind of scared me at first. All I know was that Grian was upset and something was wrong with you. I brought along Xisuma.”

“I know you did. I can hear him. You guys have different footsteps that are very… well, I can know who’s coming from their footsteps most of the time. It’s how I catch Grian playing pranks.” He chuckled, though he really didn’t want to; he wanted his friends to think he was okay with this. That he was okay with being blind and the fact that everyone would be walking on eggshells around him.

Xisuma spoke up while shuffling in place, his feet kicking up some of the dirt in Mumbo’s treehouse area; Mumbo would hear the way the grass brushed against the admin’s boots and it made him remember that he needed to probably add more water to hydrate the land. “Mumbo, we can get you some robotic eyes like Doc has. Python even has one, though he’s used similar technology to look less like a cyborg. There’s a lot of options for you and we can get you to being able to see again.”

Mumbo must have scowled because both of the others shuffled in place. They were already trying to fix a problem that he could adapt to! What if he didn’t want to see again? What if he wanted to have a say in his treatments and modifications?! He didn’t want to have to rely on robotics to see! He just wanted to keep on with his life and still be himself.

“I’ll be fine for now,” Mumbo muttered, shoving his anger down. “After all, it can’t be hard to adapt. Iskall is half blind and I’m sure Doc and Python had periods of time where they were blind in one eye. I can just learn from them! And, if you want to Iskall, you can help me too!” He smiled to ease the others.

He did want to see. He didn’t want to be blind forever. But he didn’t want others making decisions for him! So, he resigned himself to adapting so he’d have a choice in what to do. “Trust me. I can do this.” He walked a few steps forward, using his foot to help guide him but he tripped over a root of the tree and was caught by who he assumed was Xisuma; he had gloves on and Iskall never wore them so Xisuma was the next best guess.

“So, where’s Grian?” Xisuma asked, steadying his friend. Mumbo still didn’t know. It had been a few minutes and, while Grian was dull at times, he wasn’t going to put his friend in danger if he knew it. Knowing how he acted most of the time and his impulsive behavior, Grian had gone to make a temporary solution to this mess. Rockets sounded outside and signaled his return just in time.

“Oh, hi Xeeumavoided.” Grian had his usual chirp to his voice and Mumbo could practically hear his shit eating grin. He was a little bastard if Mumbo ever knew one, but he had a charm to him that made everyone laugh at some point. “I was just getting Mumbo a walking stick. I could really tame a wolf if you want me to, Mumbo.”

Mumbo smiled and sighed in relief. At least Grian was giving him some choice. “I’ll take the stick. I want to have some independence.” He heard someone shuffle and fought a glare. He knew they wanted him to take the dog. After all, the dog would protect him from most mobs and alert him of any attacks. But, the walking can would give Mumbo control over the situation and he could always have a friend with him to fight creepers and phantoms.

Xisuma spoke up. “Why not the dog? After all, it’d pro-“ Mumbo cut him off, his voice sharp enough to make Iskall whisper something.

“I can do this on my own, Xisuma. I don’t need a dog. I’m sure I really don’t need the cane Grian gave me but I’m being given a choice and I’m taking the cane.” He was sure that, if he still had eyes, he’d be giving the admin the worst glare he had ever given anybody.

“…Okay, okay. I understand. But, what do we tell the server? We can’t have all of them figure it out on their own. You saw how Iskall re-“ Xisuma stopped midsentence. He probably realized that the word “saw” wasn’t the best word for Mumbo, who couldn’t care less about word choice at this moment. He expected this- the walking on eggshells.

No one on the server had been completely blind before and Xisuma was trying to adapt to it but only served in making it awkward for both. Mumbo wanted to just scream that he was still the clumsy redstoner and for everyone to treat him like he still had sight, but he once more pushed his anger down. He took the cane from Grian and began walking, using it to tell if anything was in the way. “I’m going to activate some of my farms. Maybe trade with some villagers.”

Iskall stopped him by grabbing his arm- his hands were rough but nowhere near as rough as Grian’s. Iskall’s felt a little more sandy than gravelly and they had thicker fingers than the other hermits. The again, Iskall was, as the hermit called it, “chonky.” It would make sense that his fingers were thicker.

“Dude, you can’t see. How are you going to fly to your witch farm?” Mumbo didn’t think of that. He couldn’t dive underwater to find his villager trading hall, either. Well, until he memorized the area. Mumbo turned to where he thought Iskall was.

“…I… Well, someone can help guide me. I’m sure I’ll be able to memorize the way.” He wanted to memorize it to show he could adapt.

“And what about new builds or people along the path? The server isn’t going to stop building. It’s not in our nature,” Xisuma pointed out. “Mumbo, like it or not, you need more help than you think.”

Mumbo turned to Xisuma’s general direction. The sudden turn made him go dizzy but he fought it in his anger. “I have this, Xisuma! I’ll be able to figure it out! I may be blind but I’m not helpless!” He used his new cane to find his way out and go towards his storage system. He’d build something-

“…Right. Can’t build if you can’t see.” He sat down where he was and heard the scraping of turtles on sand below. He should feed them and get some eggs hatched. It’d be nice to have a turtle shell helmet in case he fell into the water. Mumbo silently wondered if anyone sold them. He couldn’t remember but someone probably did. Wasn’t Xisuma a turtle at one point?

Now, it was going to be a trick to get his diamonds and go to the shopping center. He wasn’t sure if he could even get to the massive rows of chests he had, let alone the shopping center. Still, he made his way to his water elevator, which was easier than he thought it would be thanks to the sounds of bubbles.

He shot up it but then stumbled out once he got there, tripping and falling face first onto the ground. Determined to prove he could do something, he wiped the blood running down his face and gently made his way over to chests, feeling the markers below for the diamond chest. He reached in and felt around, counting out 33 diamonds. “Is that enough?” He realized that he didn’t even know what a turtle shell helmet should cost.

“Well, I’ll just read the sig-“ He paused and threw his diamonds back into the chest and slammed it shut. “Of course I can’t read the damn sign! How the hell am I even supposed to fly to the damn shopping center?!” He kicked the chest before sighing, gulping down his anger and walking back to the water elevator. “…How can I even get around?”

He stood outside of his elevator for a while to think. He didn’t want anyone to bother him while he processed his new life. Maybe it’d be best if he was still stuck in respawn. That way, he wouldn’t be struggling to do the most basic of tasks. No one would be treating him like he was a toddler who couldn’t do anything for himself. He’d be… just stuck. He preferred forever, if he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These will always be chapters longer than what I'm used to working on so updates will be slow.  
Words: 1.6k


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Can you tell me please? Can you tell me please they way I am meant to feel?_  
When the server assumes he's helpless, Mumbo realizes he can't bottle his emotions up forever and hurts a good friend.

Mumbo felt useless. He was tired, frustrated, and had Grian dragging him around the shopping district. The server had not taken the news well and treated him like he was suddenly as fragile as glass; it pissed him off but he knew they meant well so he just shoved his feelings aside, choosing to bottle them up and releasing them on his mental health day. “Where exactly are you taking me?” Mumbo asked his friend, who had a firm grip on his hand. When did the small builder get so strong?

“Sahara! We have a meeting today!” Mumbo could picture his wide grin, his semi sharp teeth glinting and his feathers puffing out slightly. Grian helped him up the path- though it felt more like forced- and took him to their meeting room. “I brought him!” Grian called out to who Mumbo assumed was Iskall.

“Great,” Iskall’s voice rang out and, for the first time in a long time, Mumbo cursed how loud he was; hearing was how he got around so he focused more on noise but that meant that loud noises had much more of an impact. “Mumbo, we have the server here!”

_Oh, so that’s why the Sahara meeting was so sudden. _“Why?” Mumbo snapped, already pissed at being betrayed. “If this is to help me, I don’t need it!” He jerked out of Grian’s grip and began walking away but someone grabbed him. Judging by the cold metal, it was Doc.

His voice was low and gravelly. He normally used that voice when he wanted to be scary but, this time, it held more of a German accent to it and made Mumbo know he was serious and possibly a little angry. “Do you know how many times I’ve seen your death message on my communicator? 90% of it is ‘Mumbo fell from a high place’ and I’m getting tired of it. Are you even using your cane?!”

Mumbo raised an eyebrow and wished he could roll his eyes to show his displeasure. “I don’t need it.” Doc gripped tighter around his arm when he tried to jerk away, the cold grip hurting him a bit and pinching his skin. “Let go,” Mumbo sternly ordered Doc and the grip was loosened. Probably in surprise considering Mumbo rarely talked back. “I’ll be fine.”

Stress spoke up, her voice soft. “Mumbo, the entire server is worried. It’s been 2 weeks and you die at least 10 times a day. How are you even getting anything done?”

Mumbo didn’t want to admit that he wasn’t getting anything done. He was struggling to even navigate his storage system and, while his lack of eyes did allow him to organize it for his own ease, it was still a challenge for him. He had managed to trade for some cooked chicken since he couldn’t get to his super smelter, but that took at least 45 minutes for him to even get into his trading hall and many deaths to drowning. “I manage,” He lied.

Joe, being the ever kind soul he was, picked up on the fact that he was lying and spoke somewhat sternly. “Now, Mumbo, there is no shame in needing help. You clearly don’t know your way around and you keep getting hurt from it. Let us, your friends, help you.” Someone was heard walking towards Mumbo as Joe finished.

Judging by the loud yet slow footsteps coming towards him, it was Ren. Then again, Jevin had ones almost like Ren’s. “Get away from me,” Mumbo spat out, surprising whoever was coming towards him and some of the ones in the room, making them gasp. “I don’t know why you all think I’m so helpless! Doc and Iskall have lost eyes before! Cleo is literally dead! If they can adapt, then so can I!” He turned and bumped into someone.

They were about Mumbo’s weight but shorter. _‘Iskall.’ _He shoved his friend aside and walked down the stairs, taking his cane from his pocket and using it to make sure he didn’t fall. Someone ran after him and grabbed his arm. Startled, Mumbo swung around and threw a punch, making contact with somebody.

He heard a yell and a _thud _as his victim fell down. They were male with a semi high pitched yell, so either Xisuma or Grian. Going off the lack or armor, it was Grian he had hit. Still, anger burned in his chest at the others refusing to let him continue on with his life. He knew he couldn’t hold onto such emotions until his next mental health day. It was too much and the stress of his new life broke him. He stomped his foot and lost control of what he was saying as the server raced over to help Grian.

“What part of _I can fucking do this _do you idiots not understand?! Or do you not believe me? Do you think I’m suddenly made of glass? That I’m too stupid to make my way around?! Seriously, what in god’s name is wrong with all of you?! I’m still Mumbo, not some dumbass who can’t do anything for himself! Yeah, I’ve died a lot but how else am I going to adapt?!” He threw his cane to the ground. “Fuck all of you if you think I’m going to stand by and let all of you drag me around just because I’m blind! I’m going back to my base.” He turned heel and ran in whatever direction the wind was coming from, using his hands to feel what buildings he was next to.

Mumbo ran until he couldn’t anymore. His lungs burned and his legs ached, his world now lost on him due to how fast and far he ran. He had no idea where he was nor did he care; he just let himself collapse and breath in the cool air while listening to some nearby water splash upon a shore and sheep make soft noises. _‘I’m not fucking helpless…’ _

Thinking that made him realize that he had literally _hit _his best friend and yelled some hurtful things out of anger. Anger was replaced by regret and he sat up, trying his best to figure out where he was. He wanted to hide away from everybody and collect his thoughts so he could reflect on what an asshole he was. “Oh, Mumbo… What have you done?”

He stood up and walked until he hit the water, diving in and paddling in whatever direction he could, making sure to keep his head above water for air. He didn’t have a destination in mind. He just wanted to get away and, upon hearing magma blocks, he dove down and used them to find his way into an underwater ravine. On the floor of the ocean, he felt around until he reached a cave, though he had to use the bubble columns to gather air a few times. He swam into the cave and found it full of air.

_‘Perfect…’ _Mumbo blindly built himself a small home out of whatever blocks he had on him and placed a door down. It was probably ugly but it’d guard him from mobs. Now calmer and even slightly depressed, he laid back against the cool stone and sighed. He needed sleep. So, sleep he did.

* * *

Mumbo didn’t hear anyone come by and, judging by the lack of mob sounds, someone had already lit up this cave to stop mob spawns forever ago. He had come out of his tiny 2x2 home a few times to stretch and harvest some wheat he had planted into a patch of dirt, but he spent most of his time laying down. Did his friends hate him? Were they looking to kick him from the world? He did attack someone after all.

Tired, he took some wool from his pocket and felt it. He had some leftover from building a bed with what he had in his inventory and often used it to ground himself. Only seeing the void that took his sight was very disorienting at times, especially if he was in an unfamiliar area. He wanted to explore this area and make it hidden from everyone with a piston door, but he remembered that he was blind and spent the rest of that day moping.

He’d never be able to do redstone again. Never be able to see his friends. Never be able to do things on his own. Part of him wanted to just give up and lay here forever. In fact, that was his plan. He did just enough to keep himself alive physically but, emotionally, he was dead. He felt numb, tired, and wished for his own death a few times as he hid away from prying eyes.

A bat that had spawned inside his home squeaked, making him to it. “Oh, hello Bat-tholomew.” He wasn’t normally one for pun names but it only seemed appropriate because, when it first spawned, he had a dream that it was a small bat in a suit. Well, one of the few dreams where he could see. Ever since going blind, his dreams had begun changing from ones where he could see to ones where he was blind, and it had only been a short while since he had lost his sight. He missed the dreams where he was able to see his friends’ smiling faces.

Well, ex-friends. He was sure they all hated him now. Wanted him dead. Wanted him to leave them be forever. What had he done? He had ruined his friendships and hurt someone innocent who was just trying to help. ‘_Oh, blimey Mumbo… You’ve had much more than a major spoon moment. You’ve fucked up…’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, boy. This chapter was hard to write. I couldn't seem to get my footing on it and spent about 4 hours just writing it.  
Words: 1.6k


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I try to retreat back into me like a catabolic seed._  
Mumbo is found by a friend and taken back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to @inco for inspiration with the echolocation!

Mumbo heard splashing and questioned who came down to his cave, which was where had had called home for the past month. Bat-tholomew squeaked softly in curiosity. Taking some inspiration from his new bat friend, Mumbo had taken up making soft clicks to know where he was. Echolocation was a creative route the blind hermit had decided to take, but he was alone so he felt it didn’t matter.

Clicking softly, Mumbo pressed an ear to the side of his home, listening to footsteps and his clicks. Someone about 3-4 feet away. Drawing his cane out and holding it like a sword. What if his friends never forgave him for hurting Grian? What if they had finally found him and were coming to kill him?

He slowly made his way from his home once they had rounded the corner of the cave, now going to follow them. Heavy footsteps with a slight metallic scraping from the upper body. “Doc,” Mumbo whispered to himself.

He followed Doc to the end of the cave, clicking softly and staying in the shadows or around a corner. Doc could be heard muttering to himself about the clicking, a little worried about it. “Is anybody there?” He called out. Mumbo held his breath so Doc could only hear the echoing of his own voice. “…I think I’m hearing things…” Doc muttered.

Mumbo dove into a small hole he had mined out and listened to Doc walk by. He waited until the other had rounded the corner before following. He wanted to know why Doc was here. Why he was exploring Mumbo’s cave home. He surely wasn’t looking for the mustached hermit. Hell, that much was obvious.

Mumbo clicked a few times before he was slammed against a wall and had the wind knocked from him; a cold sword pressed against his throat. This was his end! Doc knew he was here and he was pissed at him for hurting Grian! They’d all kill him and-

“Mumbo? I thought you were a drowned!” Doc stepped back, cold metal helping Mumbo steady himself. “Is there where you have been?” Doc’s voice was full of worry and even wavered in some form of sorrow. Mumbo could picture him with an almost horrified look upon his face. “We’ve been worried sick!”

If there was one thing about Doc’s voice, it always gave away how he felt. The deeper and thicker the accent was, the angrier he was; similarly, the higher pitched it was, the more worried or scared he was. The only exception was when he was trying to be scary.

“Grian has been a mess since you left! Iskall won’t stop looking for you and you have no idea how much Xisuma blames himself! Says he’s the admin so he could have done something rather than let you run!” Doc hugged Mumbo, startling the blind hermit. His skin was rough and his prosthetic cold, both sensations making Mumbo shudder.

“I’m fine,” Mumbo snapped back, flinching at how mean that sounded. “You never wanted me to leave?” He made his voice far more soft and caring to make up for his sharp tone.

“Hell no! We’ve all been searching in every place we could! How the hell did you even get down here?” Doc let go of Mumbo and stepped back a few.

“I swam?” It seemed so obvious to Mumbo, honestly. He could still swim and used his other senses to get around, plus his new clicking. “Magma blocks create a lot of noise with their bubbles…”

“…” Doc was silent, as if debating Mumbo’s words. Did he still think the blind man was helpless? Or was he admiring Mumbo’s new adaptations? Without being able to see his face, Mumbo couldn’t tell what he was thinking and the lack of movement made it impossible to tell what he was doing.

“I… uh. Can come back, if you want.” Mumbo clasped his hands in front of him, nervous about possibly going back above the sea. The cave was where he had come to know every nook and cranny; it was unchanging and static. Mumbo had full control over what happened in his new home and how it changed.

“…Yes. Please do. Everyone is worried,” Doc muttered, his voice soft and wavering once more. Was he about to cry? It sounded like it to Mumbo; it was hard to tell, however, because he hadn’t spent enough time around others with his lack of sight to be able to pick up on subtle cues somewhat decently.

“Let’s go.” Mumbo held his hand out towards Doc to silently say ‘I got this part’ and smiled when the creeper took it. His skin was so rough and almost scaly, making Mumbo want to shudder again. He’d never get used to it, no matter if he decided to spend the rest of time trying to.

Mumbo led Doc out of the cave and swam up, letting go of the other’s hand to make it to the surface. Upon breaching, Doc grabbed Mumbo and helped him into a nearby boat. For once, Mumbo didn’t protest being helped. He knew he wouldn’t be able to operate or even enter a boat after being in a static cave for so long. He’d have to get used to picking up on singular sounds amongst many.

Doc began rowing, humming softly. “Why did you even think a cave was a good home? It could have been unlit, for god’s sake!”

“But, it wasn’t. It was close enough to spawn for it to be lit.” Mumbo didn’t mention that he had no idea how close to spawn he was nor exactly how many of the caves had been mob proofed. It had been sheer luck that he chose one that was safe.

“Oh, try telling that to Grian or Xisuma. Or even Iskall. All three are going to kick your ass.” Doc chuckled. “Seriously, Grian will never let you go after this.”

“As long as he isn’t touching my stuff, I’m fine,” Mumbo joked. He heard Doc chuckle, making him smile. It was nice to talk to someone again, that was for sure. He missed the interactions he had with others. Well, the ones he had before he was blind. He hoped that running away made them realize that he _needed _to adapt and not be carted around everywhere with no say in how he proceeded with his life.

“How is everyone?” Mumbo was curious what everybody had been doing in his absence. “I know Grian and Iskall have been going insane without me, but the others? What about them?”

“They’ve been worried, too. While they’ve also been trying to wait until you decided to come back, their builds have been taking longer to complete. Mumbo, we were all stressing over what happened to you and where you went.” Doc sighed and slowed down his rowing. Judging by the shuffling, he turned to Mumbo. “We’re all a family here and one of our family members disappeared. Of course we were going to be searching and worrying.”

Mumbo could only nod. His mouth didn’t want to work anymore. They really cared for him that much? He felt horrible for making everyone waste time and energy on him, though he knew he couldn’t change it now. He jumped when the boat began rowing at full speed again, the jolt almost sending him overboard.

“We’re almost to land. I’m going to message the others that I found you while exploring.” Doc’s communicator beeped as he typed into it; he slowed down his rowing while messaging everybody and Mumbo had no doubt that he was keeping track of what was around them. “Just remember that everybody might surround you. If you need space, just yell my name and I’ll clear them.”

“Thank you.” He wasn’t ready to have his senses overwhelmed after a month of only the drips of water being the main sound he heard, but he supposed he had no choice. He just hoped Doc stayed true to his word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slightly shorter chapter. I've been fighting some killer writer's block with this and a few other stories.  
Words: 1.3k


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _A true, true friend helps a friend in need!_  
The hermits realize their mistakes and make things right with Mumbo

Mumbo found himself unexpectedly quickly overwhelmed by all of the noise around him; it made his head spin and, for once, he wished the void had made him go deaf instead. He couldn’t see who was talking at the time thanks to the many voices or who was closer or even who hugged him. It became far too much far too quickly for the blind hermit. Panic rose up in his chest, forcing a feeling of dread to come up behind it.

His throat begin to feel as if it was closing up, making it hard to breathe; his stomach twisted and turned and made him want to vomit. Tremors covered his entire body, making it hard to stand as he took shallow breaths in some vain attempt to breathe past his struggling self. Mumbo coughed and backed away, jerking himself from whoever was hugging him and feeling the undeniable urge to scream.

Scream he did. He screamed as loud as he could beyond his lack of breath and his constant shaking. He felt as if everybody was against him suddenly. They all hated him. They all wanted him gone. They were going to attack him and imprison him and let him rot away and respawn over and over and over and ov-

“Step away, everyone! He’s having a panic attack!” Doc’s voice rang out clear as Mumbo fell to the ground, whimpering and curling up into a ball. He wanted nothing more than to disappear and fall back into the void, tumbling around in the inky blackness and letting everyone leave him alone forever so he could no longer be a burden. He coughed again and gasped for air before a cold, metallic hand was placed on his own hand. “It’s okay. Try to control your breathing.”

Mumbo took in a shaky breath, coughing loudly when it didn’t want to work. Doc gently rubbed his side. “Doing good… Try taking deeper breaths.” His voice was deep and rumbly, comforting Mumbo as he could feel the vibrations nearby. He took in another breath, this one deeper and less shaky than the last one. This was a cycle repeated a countless number of times- Mumbo didn’t bother to even try to keep count- with Doc comforting his friend and allowing him to focus on only his voice. It took quite a while, but Doc was eventually able to calm Mumbo and bring him somewhat back to reality.

“D-doc?” He murmured with his still shaky voice. He was surprised as how soft it was; he couldn’t force himself to get any louder.

“It’s okay…” Doc made his voice even more rumbly, sending vibrations down his arm and into Mumbo’s hand. It felt… oddly nice. “You’re safe here, Mumbo.”

“Thank you…” He sighed and focused on only his breathing now, shutting out the rest of the hermits and even most of Doc. He could feel the deep vibrations of the creeper cyborg speaking but chose to ignore what the other was saying- he just needed to fully calm himself.

One voice stuck out- Grian. “I feel horrible, Doc! I scared him enough to make him attack and then he ran! I never meant to have any of this happen!” Mumbo could picture his friend, though not as clearly as before. In his mind, Grian had tried to shrink himself under his wings with tears in his eyes and face red from an attempt to try not to cry, which was why his voice was wavering as he spoke.

“It isn’t your fault, Grian,” Xisuma spoke up. “We’ve… never had a completely blind hermit before. None of us know exactly how to handle this, but we’re clearly doing it wrong if he’s getting so frustrated with us. I think we should let him make more of his own choices and… help him adapt. He clearly wanted to before and we fought it, making everything so much harder on him.”

Footsteps came towards Mumbo- they were Xisuma’s- and the admin crouched down next to Mumbo. He could tell because of the way the grass crunched softly under his feet; it made more noise as the tips of his boots almost dug into the ground with most of his weight focused on them in his squat. “Mumbo… I’m sorry. For not taking what you wanted and your feelings into account. I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re all sorry.”

Everyone murmured their agreement before Joe spoke up. “We didn’t think about how you would have felt nor what you have wanted. I would like to know what we can do next for you as your friends.”

Cleo was next to speak. “I’m not going to even deny that I’m sorry and I was being a horrible person by insisting that you were helpless. It wasn’t fair to you or anybody.” She shuffled in place, though Mumbo assumed she was walking at first until he realized she wasn’t moving her position.

“Mumbo, I was a bad friend and a real idiot for being someone who thought you couldn’t do shit! You’re Mumbo Jumbo- the redstone man! The one who built a Grian proof combination lock!”

“Hey! I can still mine in, Iskall!”

“Hush. What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. You’re pretty damn good at a lot of things and you have a really logical mind, which is impressive! I just like things that look cool, honestly. So, as your friend of doom-“

“Shut up with that ‘of doom’ stuff,” Grian playfully hissed out.

“Hush, Grian. As your friend of doom, I’m gonna help!” Mumbo could picture Iskall almost wanting to jump and run to him in excitement; him and Grian were hyperactive creatures who wanted to always be on the move. He could almost see his friend shuffling in place and hopping from foot to foot.

Mumbo chuckled and slowly sat up, rubbing his neck. It was sore as hell from being in his small house for so long in that cave. “Thank you. Everyone. I want to adapt. I don’t want to be helpless or a burden, but I need help. I need you guys to… not coddle me! I can still do a lot of things and I’ve learned to get around my home cave by using echolocation, just like a bat! I know I can adapt! I know I can still be Mumbo Jumbo! But, I need help. I’m not going to deny it anymore. I need help from everyone. From my friends.”

“Oh, Mumbo,” Grian started, voice wavering as he tried not to cry. “You big spoon! Of course we’ll help!” Everyone spoke their agreement. Even TFC was there and agreed to help. It all made Mumbo want to cry. He probably would if he still could.

“Th-thank you…” His voice became thick with his attempt not to sob in joy. He may have had to go missing for a while before his friends would be willing to help him adapt, but it still made him emotional. He had support now and he knew he could have something resembling his old life now. He grinned and stood up, hugging Doc and Xisuma. “Group hug?”

The hermits cheered and all of them hugged their blind friend, speaking up happily and encouraging him to keep on fighting to be strong and adaptive. Mumbo felt… happy. He had been scared before but now he felt happy. They were a family, and he loved his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun with this chapter, even if it is a little short than the others.   
Words: 1.1k


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name like a fool at the top of my lungs!_  
Mumbo is helped by his friends to adapt but things don't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Did you miss me? We're back! I got the sudden urge to work with this! So, prepare for more Mumbo angst! (We don't see much Mumbo angst, do we?)

Mumbo furrowed his brow as he gently traced his fingers over the rough, stone like texture. It had symmetrical lines across it and felt almost like hardened clay but with far more porous holes along the surface. “This is… Brick?” He asked softly, not quite sure if he was correct. A small noise of approval made him smile.

“Great job. You actually didn’t pull the answer from your ass for once,” Evil Xisuma curtly stated, though Mumbo could pick up on some caring in his voice. The hermits had stayed true to their word and began to help Mumbo adapt. Evil Xisuma had shocked Mumbo when he dragged the hermit away and shoved different blocks in his hands. They had been here for what Mumbo assumed to be at least 3 days, for phantoms had begun to circle and screech last night. He was glad Evil Xisuma was surprisingly well at combat.

“I’m trying my best, Ex.”

“Don’t call me Ex. It’s Evil Xisuma because, well, I’m evil!” Mumbo hadn’t interacted with Xisuma’s twin enough to judge his expressions and be able to picture them in his mind. Then again, the pictures in his mind had begun to fade long ago. He missed such a small, insignificant thing.

“You don’t seem evil to me. In fact, you’re helping me out, Ex- I mean, Evil Xisuma.” Mumbo smiled and he heard the hermit groan loudly before taking the block from him and shoving another in his hands quickly enough to startle Mumbo into dropping it.

“Aaaand you dropped it. Honestly, you have to, I don’t know, adapt?” Mumbo could hear the frustration in his voice, causing guilt and regret to rise in his chest like the ocean rising in high tide. He knew it would eventually fall just like the ocean did but it sure as hell didn’t feel any better. “Ugh,” Evil Xisuma groaned. “Take a break for today before you give me headache from dealing with you.” He was heard walking away, leaving Mumbo alone in a place he didn’t know.

Glass was cool under him and he could hear guardians nearby, but that surely didn’t help him judge where the hell he was. Might as well judge this block… He felt around for it before he picked it up and let his fingers trace over the smooth surface, small rises at the edges that were rounded off. It felt cool to the touch yet had some warmth in the very middle of each surface, signaling that it probably gave off light. Perhaps it was a sea lantern?

“Mumbo? Why are you holding a sea lantern?” Xisuma’s voice made Mumbo jump and drop the block again, silently cursing himself for losing it. “Did Evil Xisuma leave you here? I told him that this was a new area to you! I’ll have to talk to him later… But, for now, welcome to my base.”

Ah, so that was the guardian sounds. Mumbo recalled that his friend had a double ocean monument base; quite a task to build but Mumbo was sure that he pulled it off well. The admin was incredibly talented and could put Grian to shame with his builds, though each had a unique style of building their creations.

“Thank you. So, I was right. This is a sea lantern? I feel like I am getting better!” He practically beamed enough to give off light of his own and he was sure that, if he still had eyes, there would be nothing but pride in them; the guilt in his chest had already been replaced with the warm feeling.

“You are. Great job! Sorry if Evil Xisuma was… rude. He’s always been like that, even when we were little. But, he’s my brother and I love him.” Xisuma’s voice held an odd tone to it- one Mumbo couldn’t quite figure out on his own. Was it regret for letting Evil Xisuma back on the server? Was it pride that his twin was actually helping Mumbo? Was it a mix of both?

Mumbo stood up and struggled to steady himself. Even after almost a month and a half of being out of that cave, he still had issues adjusting to the sudden sensations and noises nearby. A hand was placed on his shoulder and guided his hands to the owner’s shoulders to help Mumbo. “Thank you, Xisuma.”

“Anything for a friend. Now, since we’re at my base, need help identifying mob sounds?”

Mumbo tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow in confusion. “But I already know them? Creepers hiss, zombies groan, and skeletons rattle.”

“Yes, but you hear those when they are close. I’m teaching you to pick up on their sounds from a distance. Now, come on.” Xisuma gently took Mumbo’s hands from his shoulders and held one hand. “Is this alright? Me leading you?”

“Yes. I… don’t know you base, admittedly.” Mumbo chuckled and gripped Xisuma’s hand, the admin now leading him through the apparent maze that was his base until he could hear a nether portal nearby. “Are we traveling through the nether?” Xisuma only let out an ‘_mhm’_ before helping Mumbo through the portal and then through the hell scape that they called the nether.

Though Mumbo knew it was protected, anxiety still rose in his chest at the sound of ghasts and pigmen. Not being able to see the living fire ball canons always made Mumbo nervous, even when he could see. He shuddered at the memories of being attacked by ghasts when he first entered the nether years ago. “Where are we going, anyways?’

“My mob farm. I have some mobs set aside in a special area so we can work on your senses.” Mumbo tried to picture Xisuma’s smile; he always showed his emotions through his eyes so, if one wasn’t great at reading faces, they wouldn’t know what the admin was feeling. It had always been so strange to Mumbo and, when he first joined, he was constantly scared of pissing Xisuma off.

“We’re almost there, Mumb-“

“MUUUUMBOOOOO!” Iskall’s loud voice made Mumbo scream loudly and almost jump back; thank god Xisuma still had a hold on his hand. “Oh… Uhm… Sorry?” Iskall chuckled awkwardly and could be heard walking up to Mumbo, quick footsteps following behind. ‘_Grian must be here, too…_’

“Hey, Mumby!” Grian chirped and chattered softly. Mumbo once more tried to picture his friend but found nothing coming to mind. Why was it fading so much? He just… wanted to be able to hold onto the memories of when he could see. Even his dreams were filled with only the sight of the void. The same void that caused this mess- his disability.

He despised calling it a disability. It made him feel useless and helpless, like he couldn’t do anything on his own. He preferred to not even mention the fact that he was blind. That he had to be led around new areas and was probably burdening his friends with his accommodations. Mumbo shook off those thoughts for now. ‘_Just don’t feel it._’ Easier said than done.

“We built something just for you!” Grian began chirping louder and could be heard making small ‘_thumps_’ as he assumedly hopped from foot to foot in excitement, Iskall cackling when a loud ‘_THUNK_’ was heard from Grian. Mumbo squeezed Xisuma’s hand for a moment. That had become a signal for whoever was near him that he was getting overwhelmed with his senses. That the noises had become too much for him.

“Alright, alright. Grian, get up and both of you calm down,” Xisuma spoke in a stern tone yet held calmness it. “Let’s get going to the mob identifier. Come on.” Xisuma let Mumbo through another nether portal, the cool air on the other side sending goosebumps across Mumbo’s body. “I built the redstone for this with Iskall’s and Tango’s help. Grian and False gathered the mobs, though Doc did provide the creepers.”

Mumbo felt both guilt and pride; his friends must have spent so much time and energy to make this for him. And yet he couldn’t even repay them in any way he could think of. He couldn’t make a redstone machine. He couldn’t build them anything. Hell, the only thing he could do was give them his stuff and they had all denied it before.

They walked through tunnels- Mumbo could tell by the way their footsteps echoed across what sounded like stone. Every block type had a distinct way it reacted to walking across it. Blocks of pure ore tended to have a more ‘clink’ like bell sound, while the ore blocks themselves made slightly different crunches depending on the ore trapped inside. Stone made an echo and bricks even more. Wood creaked, naturally, but Mumbo had come to know each sound of each block.

“It’ll be a bit loud for a moment, Mumbo. We’re going to cycle through mobs. After the pistons stop, we’ll be quiet while you try to chose which mob is about 15 blocks away.” Mumbo only nodded in response to Xisuma as they entered a warm room, Mumbo finding himself releasing the tension he didn’t even know he had from the cold.

“Ready?” Iskall asked, Grian whispering something about if Mumbo could do this. Anger bubbled in his chest. Of course he could do this! He may be blind but he wasn’t helpless! …So, why did he feel that way? Once more, he shoved his feelings down and prepared himself.

The pistons began to move and Mumbo found himself almost overwhelmed by the sheer amount of noise. Hell, he even began to shake and balled up his fists; he had to be strong to show he could do this. He coughed upon finding it difficult to breathe and, suddenly, he felt so small, as if everyone could crush him easily. “Nonononono STOP THE DAMN MACHINE!” Mumbo fell to the floor and gripped his head, sobbing loudly and shaking so hard he was sure he was going to faint with his heart beating fast enough to make him worry over a heart attack.

“He’s having another panic attack!” Iskall was heard running and the machine stopped suddenly. “Okay, okay… Shh…” Who he assumed to be Iskall placed a hand on his shoulder. “Take deep breaths. It’ll be fine.”

“Can I just go home?” Mumbo weakly whimpered his words, struggling through his panic attack and gripping himself tight enough that he was sure he’d have bruises in the morning. “I want to go home.”

“It’s okay. We can go home,” Grian worriedly whimpered out. Judging by the hands, Grian and Iskall helped him up. “We’ll set up another system.”

“I’m sorry, Mumbo. I shouldn’t have made you come here knowing you were easily overwhelmed today.” Xisuma’s voice was wavering and thick with regret. Or was it guilt? Both? He could never tell with Xisuma. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

“…Don’t worry too much about it…” Mumbo leaned on his friends and let them take him back through the nether, exhaustion taking place in every aspect of his body. Maybe he was helpless? He couldn’t even handle basic redstone nowadays… He sighed softly and resigned himself to constantly feeling like a burden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 1.8k


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